stone heart

“Everything you ever wanted is already here.  You are life.  In the search for a future, better life, the simple joy of being is overlooked.”

~ Scott Kiloby Reflection of the One Life


Living Inquiries, developed by Scott Kiloby, can radically change the way that we experience being alive.  They are a deep, yet safe and gentle guided journey to look for and question the false identities and thoughts that we assume define who we are and what we believe the world to be.  A Living Inquiries session is not a self-improvement plan, but rather a way of first investigating and welcoming all thoughts, feelings and sensations that are part of the present moment experience.  We then excavate the layers of these thoughts, images and sensations by looking at them each separately, not with judgment or analysis, but rather with innocent curiosity and careful, direct observation.  This process is very healing for anyone hoping to experience relief from a negative self-image, interpersonal conflict, fears and anxiety, stress, compulsive behaviors, thoughts and addictions–basically anything that causes us distress or inhibits us from living life fully.  Commonly, those who have experienced the Living Inquiries report a greater capacity to rest, allow and even embrace the full human experience with profound and lasting self-love.

The Living Inquiries include, The Unfindable Inquiry, The Anxiety Inquiry, and The Compulsion Inquiry.  Each is a guided process that allows us to relax the thoughts, fears and addictions that cause us personal pain and emotional and mental resistance.


The Unfindable Inquiry:

Basically, what the Inquiries do is separate the enmeshment between thoughts and sensations that create our stories and bind us to our false identities, our belief that something is wrong with us and our belief that we are separate from life.  In doing so, there is a breaking through the conscious mind in order to be able to experience simple Awareness, and relief from our beliefs and suffering can occur.   It doesn’t happen by trying to fix or change anything, but rather by trying to find the actual self that is deficient, or trying to find the actual person or object that we feel separate from. They are called Unfindable Inquiries because when we look for these things, after decoupling thoughts from sensations, we generally can’t find what we are looking for, and what results is Presence and Peace of Mind.

Scott Kiloby speaking about Self-Love and the Deficient Self:

Here is a sample Unfindable Inquiry:


The Anxiety Inquiry:

The Anxiety Inquiry helps us to take a safe look at situations and thoughts that we experience as threatening and dangerous and that have limited our capacity to live life fully and authentically.   This inquiry can be used for anything that is anxiety producing.  After untangling the words, pictures and sensations that we have come to define as fearful, we can experience a deeper state of calm and ease in our lives.


The Compulsion Inquiry:

Our compulsions and addictions are not rational, and using willpower to stop or counteract them is often ineffective.  When we try to “fix” our compulsions by depriving ourselves, we may eventually over-indulge or even rebel as a result.  In the Compulsion Inquiry, we do not try to change the behavior by stopping it or replacing it with another behavior, but rather we look for the force or urge or command that is compelling us to participate in that behavior in the first place.  When we can’t find that, the compulsion relaxes, and we can be freed from its grip.

Here is a video of Scott Kiloby speaking about addiction:

The Living Inquiries allow us to get a closer look at the source of what makes us feel separate from life on a moment-by-moment basis, and lead us to living a life of greater contentment.


Disclaimer from Kiloby Group™

This website is for educational purposes only and is not intended in any way to be a replacement for, or a substitute to, qualified medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, or as a replacement for, or a substitute to, psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment, or therapy from a fully qualified person. If you think you are suffering from a medical or psychological condition, consult your doctor or other appropriately qualified professional person or service immediately. Scott Kiloby is not a physician, mental health or addictions counselor. He does not give advice about how to live one’s life. He does not employ psychological techniques to improve one’s thinking, personal story or belief systems. He assists people in seeing through their identity, not constructing or changing it, as mental health counselors do. His work is similar to that of a practitioner, rabbi, or priest providing religious, spiritual, educational, or pastoral services. His teaching is based on eastern religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism, not western psychology, science, medicine or addiction counseling.

We are not responsible or liable for any action made by a user based on the content of this website. We are not liable for the contents of any external websites listed, or for any actions made by a user based on the contents of these external sites, nor do we necessarily endorse any product or service mentioned or advised on any of these external sites. Any data or information is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended for any other commercial or non-commercial purposes. We will not be liable for any errors or delays in the content of this website, or for any actions taken in reliance thereon. By accessing our website, you agree not to redistribute the material found therein, unless appropriate rights have been granted. We provide links to select sites for your convenience only. We do not necessarily endorse or recommend the services of any company. We shall not be liable for any damages or costs of any type arising out of or in any way connected with your use of our website. By using the site, you fully agree to these terms.

©The Kiloby Group 2013. All rights reserved